Why Do Craigslist Lowballers Play The Sympathy Card?

"Steven Lang" (StevenLang) 09/16/2016 at 10:51 • Filed to: Craigslist, Selling used cars, Buying used cars, no lowballers

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Every morning I find new best friends in my email box.

“My daughter is a young single mom. We’re looking to get her something that is safe, reliable, and less than $1200. Can you lower the price on your 2008 Sonata?”

Actually, the request above would be like a grammatical gift from the Gods. The average Craigslist sympathy email I get offers about as much sentence structure as old Nirvana lyrics, and as much deep thought as a Sarah Palin interview.

First there is the Ebonics texter. A guy I slightly sympathize with because at least he tries. Although not that much.

“Ur price hi botam dollah?

“Wud u cel les muny?”

“Would you trade? I have overpriced shitbox I can’t sell!”

Okay, the last one is my translation of what amounts to texting hieroglyphics. But you pretty much get the idea. Most of these folks are just bored and I return their lack of effort by ignoring their requests.

But then there are those which make you scratch your head just a little bit. The first is a big broad category that I call, ‘Single Mom’.

‘I A SINGLE MOM AND I LOVE THIS KIND OF VAN IT IS A BEAUTY I DONT HAVE THAT MUCH COULD YOU CONSIDER LOWER PRICE?’

The internet is over 20 years old and some poor soul out there still can’t find the Caps Lock button. Seriously though, this wouldn’t bother me that much if I didn’t on occasion call back the number and hear a deep manly voice that almost sounds like !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

“Uh.... hello?”

That single mom impersonator isn’t the worst type of inhabitant in the Craigslist lowballing community. The green slime that’s stuck in the very bottom of the barrel are the know-it-alls, and they almost always come in two forms.

Mr. Kelly And His Blue Book

“Kelly Blue Book says that your 2005 Kia Spectra is only worth $1100. I’ll offer you $1300 which is more than fair. I need wheels!”

First off, if I could buy an average condition 2005 Kia Spectra for $1100, I would buy every single one and start at an Uber service for crackheads. It’s an open secret that KBB lowballs the hell out of older used cars to the point where they have no relevance to car buying reality.

So what happens? People who are cheaper than a wore out mop use it to badger complete strangers with offers that they would never take themselves.

Then there are the psychics.

The Fortune Teller

“These vehicles require a lot of maintenance. I should know because the internet told me. Also, they seem to always lose blinker fluid every 10,000 miles according to a thread I found on Saturnalia that was written about six years ago. Look, I’m not trying to lowball you but we have a family member who is dying from chronic halitosis and it would be a great help to her investment in Scope if you sold your car for a pack of chewing gum”

Now what gets me isn’t the blinker fluid. Heck, plenty of dealerships out there try to charge you for all sorts of fictional transaction costs and maintenance related schemes. Bullshit is a lubricant in much of the car world and the Wild West of commerce that is Craigslist has bullpucky all over the place.

What pisses me off is having anyone tell me what price I should sell my car for. Pardon my French, but I believe this classic quote from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! said it best. These guys are axe-hoes and when I see these pearls of wisdom fall into my email box, I just instantly delete them and remind myself of the pecking order I now have for automotive charity.

Immediate family members

Best friends who I have known for a long time.

Relatives who just need a little help

Friends and acquaintances, depending on the need

Any combination of 2, 3, and 4, that need more than a little help.

Monkeys at the zoo that fling feces at visitors

Goldman Sachs

Those who play the sympathy card on Craigslist

That just about sums it up. But how about you? What types of lowballers have you experienced on Craigslist? Feel free to help us all figure out to how to eradicate this virtual form of online herpes, and if you are selling a perfectly good MINI Cooper for $2000 in the Atlanta area, let me know. I have $1800 CASH MONEY!

Arrivederci > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 10:56

3

Just wait until you list something for free. You’ll get no fewer than 10,000 responses in 24 hours.

jimz > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:00

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my favorite is always the “what’s the lowest you’ll take” guy. Only suitable response is “I don’t know, what’s the most you’ll pay?”

Roadster Man > jimz 09/16/2016 at 11:20

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I’m going to steal that from you. I never know how to respond to that question.

Party-vi > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:20

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I have only thankfully ever sold a motorcycle, a set of wheels/tires, and an engine on CL.

The motorcycle buyer offered me $500 off my asking price of $5,500 which I expected, but when he showed up with his three kids in tow (wtf?) he only had $4,950 on him as he “had to buy the kids lunch”. I guess he didn’t think his kids would need to eat on their hour ride down, but I still sold the bike because fuck it, it’s $50.

The wheels/tires buyer offered $450 on my price of $600 which was fine, seeing as I would never have a use for the set again anyway.

The engine buyer was a motherfucker. I had a built 4.6L Jeep stroker I6 engine that had $3,500 into it, and he knew it was a Renix-specific engine and no one else could use it unless they swapped the head or had a Renix Cherokee to drop it in, so he offered me $1,500. That one hurt, but I sold it because who the fuck is looking for a stroker engine for a 1987-1990 Jeep Cherokee ?

thebigbossyboss > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:27

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Hey where do Opponauts fit in the list? LOL.

I apologized I once texted some guy who was selling a Cavalier for $6K and straight up told him I paid $3K for my Cavalier 6 years ago. (I had my Cavalier listed for $1K and I had been browsing ads to see other prices. I sold for $900.)

Dave Farquhar > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:28

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This happens on rental properties too. “My daughter is a single mother with five kids. I think she would love your house. Do you think you could add a fourth bedroom and cut your price by 1/3?” Umm, no. I can’t imagine this ever works but I see it all the time.

shop-teacher > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:30

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I suspect they do it, because one every 10,000 times it works. Since they’re losers with nothing better to do, they’ll take those odds. My favorite came when I was selling our camper this summer. I had it listed For $4050. I had a guy offer me $800 up front and then $500 a month after that, because he was homeless and he needed to park it in his mom’s back yard so he and his daughter could live in it. I never responded.

LongbowMkII > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:31

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“How much g o err nova”

Translation?

shop-teacher > Party-vi 09/16/2016 at 11:32

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I actually think the guy offered you a fair price for the motor. When you’re buying a motor off of some rando on Craiglist, every motor is a used motor (fresh build or not). Doesn’t make it easier to take that hit, but I think you were right to accept it.

shop-teacher > LongbowMkII 09/16/2016 at 11:34

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That’s an easy one. It means, “Gib to me.”

Ian R. Campbell > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:34

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When I was getting ready to move a few years back, I put a craigslist ad out to give away my vintage computer collection that I had amassed over a number of years. (I didn’t want to deal with selling and just wanted it all gone). Well, that turned into one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I documented everything clearly in photographs and description. Within three days I had 150 e-mails, I lost count of how many times people asked if they could have one or two items, played the sympathy card, or tried to tell me how they weren’t going to resell it. I didn’t care, I just wanted it gone. The one that really bothered me was “my son wants to build a robot, can that be done with this stuff?”

Future next gen S2000 owner > Arrivederci 09/16/2016 at 11:37

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If I’m getting rid of something for free, I put it in my front yard with a “free” written on it. Never lasts more than 3 hours, tops.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Party-vi 09/16/2016 at 11:38

9

David Tracy

E92M3 > Dave Farquhar 09/16/2016 at 11:39

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Just experienced this the other day. I listed my rental at $1800 a month, got at least 20 interested parties in 48 hrs. First person to view the house tried to offer $1500 a month. I had a tenant the next day at the full $1800.

I can only imagine how many peoples time that lady wastes, to never actually rent anything.

Gerry197 > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:39

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You definitely get all kinds on Craigslist, but it’s really no different than any other type of ads that leads to negotiations. Sometimes you win, sometimes they win, on both sides of the sale.

However, nothing has gotten me sold more motorcycles and wheel/tire sets than Craiglist. Got some of my best deals on the buyers side on Craigslist as well.

Whether its a set of factory takeoffs for my F150, Xbox One or Traxxas Slash 4x4, I find them on Craigslist.

mtdrift > Future next gen S2000 owner 09/16/2016 at 11:42

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Beat me to it.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 11:44

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I don’t sell much on CL. I buy even less but I did list my Mustang on CL. I priced it correctly. Loved the texts three hours after it goes live.

Them: Hey, will you take 5,000.

Me: No.

Them: Well, what will you take?

Me: 8,000(it was listed for 6,500).

Them: Nah, not worth it. I don’t have that or that is too expensive.

smobgirl > Future next gen S2000 owner 09/16/2016 at 12:05

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In my neighborhood it’s common to put something unsecured in the yard with a “for sale” sign on it - like bicycles, wheels, tires, furniture. I’ve always wondered how much of it just disappears without any money changing hands.

Batman the Horse > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 12:07

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When I was selling my old camera equipment I got a dude who gave me the ol’ “please I’m a poor student and need this for a school project for next week! And would you take half off what you are asking?!”

*BLOCK*

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 12:17

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I imagine these are the same people who list their cars on there with descriptions like:

“95 CD Accord 5spd VTEC H22 PROJECT $7500 in parts asking $8200 or trade for . lemme know what you got. Salvage title.

NO LOWBALLERS I KNOW WHAT I HAVE

Tags subaru WRX STI hatchback 4dr hatch 5spd 4wd awd evo Honda Mitsubishi Mazda nissan lowered drift manual jdm tuner offroad trade truck H22 ROTA ADVAN APC S2000 VR4 GSX SUPRA Z32 Skyline GT-R GTS-T R32 R33 R34 BMW, e30, e36, e46, e34, e39, e90, e92, 325, 328, 330, 335, m3, 3 series RSX, K20, K20A2, DC5, Honda, Acura, VTEC, 6spd, manual, FWD ef eg ek ej s13 s14 s15 gts ae86 turbo awd stanced hellaflush drift sr20det rb20 rb25 hatch hatchback v8 xxr drag volk works varrstoen rota vossen BBS sti hot rod muscle car gto drag racing 4 door gas saver stanced 5spd 6spd 6mt cpe integra civic supra del sol tl acura b20 vvti

No pics phone broken.”

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Dave Farquhar 09/16/2016 at 12:19

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Happened to me, “recent Divorce with two kids and her ex husband will pay half the rent”. Red lights started flashing when we did a credit check and is monthly income was less than what he paid in rent combined with what he’d be paying her for rent.

jimz > Arrivederci 09/16/2016 at 12:24

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and they’ll all be certified nutjobs. “Will you hold it for me until next week?” “Will you deliver?”

jimz > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 12:26

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Oh the other one I love: “Will you take payments? I can give you $xxx up front.”

Do I look like a goddamned bank?

Party-vi > shop-teacher 09/16/2016 at 13:32

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We I could have either gotten the $1,500 or kept it as the fanciest paperweight in my office. I don’t think the price was fair, but it was the price I got.

shop-teacher > Party-vi 09/16/2016 at 13:33

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That’s understandable.

Arrivederci > jimz 09/16/2016 at 14:24

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I once listed an old upright piano for free since I was moving. Made my listing saying whomever picked it up would need at least four strong guys. Person who came to get it came with two younger boys. I told them I wasn’t going to help.

I helped anyway, because I’m a glutton for punishment.

They then realized that, after getting it outside, that it wouldn’t fit in their truck. So they had to leave and then come back with something bigger. Never again, I’m just going to trash it.

Tristan > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 15:55

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1994 Miata for sale. Red with black top and black interior. 142,000 miles, 1.8/5-speed. $3,250 obo.

“U stil hav Miata 4 sell?”

Yes

“Wut year is it?”

...

Usually I respond by sending them a link to the ad and saying “read this, then text me."

BKosher84 > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 16:04

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I once had a guy purchase a phone from me (a Sprint Smartphone) that CLEARLY stated three different times in the description that it’d only work on CDMA (Sprint/Verizon) networks and not GSM (AT&T/T-Mobile), the guy called me three days later asking me for a refund because it didn’t work with AT&T.

DynamicWeight > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 09/16/2016 at 16:21

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“Text me for pics”

Ah yes, I want to buy a complicated piece of machinery owned by someone who can’t figure out how to upload pictures to craigslist.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > jimz 09/16/2016 at 16:23

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i always reply that i will take one payment of whatever i am asking for the vehicle

Funktheduck > shop-teacher 09/16/2016 at 18:01

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I wasn't, but I am now.

JCAlan > Dave Farquhar 09/16/2016 at 18:07

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The way I see it is that I’m only responsible to help single mothers if I’m the father. Otherwise, not my problem, lady.

dogisbadob > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 19:52

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Negotiating is part of most private party sales that aren’t auctions (like eBay)

For the extreme lowballers, just ignore them.

Cars priced above book value get flagged regularly.

I bought my last two cars off CL and had no problems. In the car I have now, the price was listed as $700, and someone offered the seller $400, so he emailed me saying “someone offered me $400. If you can offer $500 the car is yours.”

CaptDale - is secretly British > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 20:11

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I wish I could even get those on my 928 lol

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Steven Lang 09/16/2016 at 22:33

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I was selling my middle range martin guitar, 15 watt amp, cables need & other parts. Martins hold their value quite well. I listed the ad for $1100 (with beautiful damn photos), the includes: guitar, amp, cables & arious new parts. The guitar was $1600 new, the amp was $200, maybe $100 in various cable’s & parts.

After a few weeks of offers too low, I lowered the price to $1000. I go an e-mail, it from a cars sales man. This guy offered $750, I normally turn it away. I did not, I wanted to play the cards on someone who sells stuff for a living. I get him up too $900, I have it going good. We agree to met, I tune is up damn well. He “test drove” it, he played it very well. I hands me an envelope. I count the money, $900. Like we agreed on. We shake hands.

A few weeks later I my car crapped out, I still had his business card. I call him up, ask how he is liking the guitar. He says he loves it, and I tell him I’m looking for a car. I give him my budget, specs (manual, hatchback, good on fuel), and he looks though the stock at the dealer he works at. I gives me a few options: A Spark, too small. A Trax, NO. A base model Sonic, met my specs, under my budget. I go test drive it, test drive goes well. I buy it.

jordang1028 > Steven Lang 09/17/2016 at 02:26

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My favorites are the ones who think that the words “cash in hand right now” have a magical lowballing power. Ex: Sold my girlfriend’s parents Chrysler Pacifica a while back. Very well kept, one owner car in great shape, and I was asking $4000, expecting to sell it in the mid 3s. Got half a dozen offers in the first two days worded as such: “GOT 1300 CASH RITE NOW CAN BE THER IN 30 MINS CASH IN HAND LEMME NO.” Kindly fuck “rite” off sir.

Sarin5150 > Party-vi 09/17/2016 at 06:53

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Me I mean I've got an 86 2.5 with the renix. You wouldn't by chance have the computer for one would you?

jimz > jordang1028 09/17/2016 at 08:56

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My favorites are the ones who think that the words “cash in hand right now” have a magical lowballing power.

yeah, how else were they expecting to pay for the car? Credit cards?

they-will-know-my-velocity > Steven Lang 09/17/2016 at 11:49

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My favorite are the people that won’t fucking take no for an answer.

$40 asking price for parts. Offers $15 at 2am. I see it at 8 am and ignore it.

Guy texts again at 10am. Offers $15. I ignore it. He calls at 10:30 and and says, “Oh, I dunno if you saw my texts, will you take $15?”

“No, I saw them.”

*Silence*

*Silence*

“Would you take $20?”

*Hangs up*

Texts at 11am. “Would you take $30?”

At this point I recognize the number and block it. I would take $30 but the fact that it took him almost 10 hours to get to a reasonable offer really irked me.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Steven Lang 09/17/2016 at 12:11

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I had a gentleman email me about my old, high mileage A8. He said he was looking for cheap reliable transportation for his elderly mother and offered me just a little over half my asking price.

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > Steven Lang 09/17/2016 at 12:54

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The guy who goes through hours of trouble asking for detailed pictures and setting up a meeting

Then right before you’re ready to meet says “oh btw I only have $1000 less than your asking price. is that cool?”

Fuck that guy

yamahog > Santiago of Escuderia Boricua 09/17/2016 at 13:23

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well you gotta make sure you’re getting the most for your $50, ya know?

Party-vi > Sarin5150 09/19/2016 at 08:36

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No unfortunately not. I gave up my speed parts too. I did find my box of assorted sensors and distributor though. If you are looking for anything specific let me know and I’ll see if I still have it. They aren’t doing me any good sitting in my garage.